Modesty and Self-control

Sorry this is so long and on such a little part of this section, but it’s such a big issue that women battle daily and there are so many things to say about these couple of verses. Also, please know that anything I’ve said below is all because of the grace of God that has worked through my parents and godly speakers that have spoken into my life over many years. Because we live in a fallen world and temptations arise daily, I am not an "expert" at any of this. This is something that I'm constantly working on in my own life and will be for many more years to come!

9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

I believe Paul is addressing that women in the church should not look exactly like the ungodly women in the world. Women in the church are to be different: a light to unbelievers. They should stand out not because of their revealing clothing, but because of their modest heart and dress. As women we are called to dress in a way that is not “distracting” to men in their pursuit to grow in godliness.

“Good works” are to be what’s most noticeable about a woman who professes godliness. Not our wardrobes, but our good works—an observable lifestyle of serving others. This I believe is the appropriate adornment for women who profess to be Christians. And it is an evidence of the transforming effect of the gospel. It may mean more time sacrificing on behalf of our families and local church.

Here are some very wise words from John MacAthur that I need to remind myself of daily: “How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? It is to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”

All respectable apparel is the result of a godly heart, where modesty and self-control originate. Our wardrobes are a public statement of our personal and private motivation and convictions. If we have a desire to profess godliness, we should be concerned with cultivating the virtues of modesty and self-control. Our adorning should be: “the hidden person of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight it very precious. (1 Peter 3:4)”

“Self-control is, in a word, restraint. Restraint for the purpose of purity; restraint for the purpose of exalting God and not ourselves. Together, these attitudes of modesty and self-control should be the hallmark of the godly woman’s dress. what is the intent of your heart in purchasing clothes to wear? Does a humble heart and a servant’s heart dictate your wardrobe and appearance? Is your shopping informed and governed by modesty and restraint? Or is your dress motivated by a desire for attention and approval from others? Does your style reflect a lack of self-control? There’s an inseparable link between your heart and your clothes. Your clothes say something about your attitude. If they don’t express a heart that is humble, that desires to please God, that longs to serve others, that’s modest, that exercises self-control, then change must begin in the heart.” –C.J. Mahaney

Proverbs 31:30- "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Modesty is a statement of humility expressed in our wardrobes!